Workin it! Trying! Learning!

Alrighty!! Here we go!! I’m starting another dedicated author page at but I will also post here for all those, (All three of you!)… That are following me and want to know what’s going on.

Since coming back from my trip, I’ve signed up on a freelance sight and been paid for four completed ghost writing projects.  OMG!! I’m getting paid to write! One of the publishers didn’t want a story I started for them so I kept it and made it my own.  Another publisher, (, helped me launch this new story and helped me with a cover, (Honestly I think the cover is all that and more!).  So, we put my first erotic romance up on Amazon/Kindle for a free promotion.  Within 24 hours it sold over a 1000 copies and went to number 10 on the Kindle free download bestsellers list. Honestly, it might just be that fabulous cover!  Exciting, scary, now the pressure is on! Left it a cliff hanger so I must get the second one finished soon!

There are only three reviews so far and they are all over the map … 4 stars, 5 stars and a pitiful 2 stars.  I’m fully aware I need to get better at the execution and composition.  I do however think I’ve painted a fairly cool new world and I really do love all my characters.  This book is not at all related to my AdventuresinPayne book, other than I wrote it and in my world, LOVE conquers all! I’m still finding my voice, my style is just now starting to set. Once again, I will say I am trying.  Trying is all, it is everything to me.  If I try, if am constantly pushing myself outside my comfort zone? That means I am growing and learning and changing.  Hopefully for the good. :] I say that with a big smile… because ya never know!   


And the adventure begins! I’m just getting started here guys.  ALPHA AWAKENED is my first entry into the Erotica genre.  The response to the free promo week is flabbergasting! The reviews are just starting to come in.  I know full well I can’t please everyone, don’t even want too.  If I did, it would mean I am writing way too generic/formula for my own tastes. I’m quite sick of formula romances.  Writing in the paranormal realm helps with that just a tad, but again, it’s starting to be a glutted genre. Here are some of my thoughts:


Writing is such a mentally ill lifestyle.  I spend the majority of my time alone, isolated and devoid of human contact. I can’t communicate very well because my mind is full of the dialogue of my characters. Multiple story lines are always spinning around in my head too because now I am writing for others as well as myself.  I am asked to concoct intricate and drama filled plot lines that not only include lots of dialog, humor, sex, and also characters the reader will fall in love with, or hate or feel something towards, and yet, I never see or talk to other humans.   Grrrr… on top of that, I must execute it all through witty prose and metaphors, and god help me if it isn’t fresh and new each time.  Repetition is the bane of my existence.  I hate to repeat myself! And I ask you, how in the world do you cleverly, erotically, turn on your reader again and again? There are only three holes on the female body, how else can I describe this shit so I hold my readers attention? Double Grrrr… it’s exhausting and exhilarating all at once.

It seems my genre is romance, fiction, erotica.  This is an especially tough world.  It’s a quick fix, not too short, not too long, must have a story, but also be mostly sex, sex, sex … it’s as the genre dictates…readers are picky and fussy, fickle is a great word.  Everyone has such different tastes.  I’ve written for men and they are quite a bit easier, it’s a straight forward, literal interpretation of a physical act.  Use the word nipple or pussy and they are good to go.  Women? Well, not so much, but heck, I’m one so I should be able to do this. Right?

What am I getting at? I’m new to this, I’m still learning, always will be, but this is a second life for me, a second career.  I’m not a trained writer, I’m a story teller. I like this genre because I love writing erotica, it however is a passing fancy kind of read, not something you must own and put on your bookshelf.  It’s a fast turn over, (errors abound!), self-edited, crank em out fast, catch em with the cover sort of business.  I want to build an audience for my other books, my ‘big books,’ as I call them.  They’re still romantic fiction but so much longer than these two to three hour quick romances.

I would love to bring more to this genre too.  More story, better plots, intricate character studies.  Emotions are tough to write about, but on the whole, I think they need more attention. My goal is to create these small moments in time that leave you the reader, wanting more.  If you think about my stories or the people in them, even fleetingly, later in your day, or the next day, and you wish to know what happens next? Not just wish for the next sex scene? Well, then maybe I’ve done what I set out to do.

I love intricate characters that we can all either associate with, or at the very least we can understand. I want to make you feel something, anything! I think the greatest gift in the world is to arouse another soul, turn them on, and ignite some hidden inner fire.  I like dialogue that makes you laugh, and I adore a great sex scene that leaves us all totally turned on. I know I’ve done a good job when even though I’m sitting here, alone in my isolated world, I can feel it in my body.  If I accomplish that, and at the same time, I also find myself thinking about and missing that world and those lives? Then I know I’m on the right track.

This world is also fiction people! Highly inaccurate accountings of an imaginary life and fantasy realm.  Fantasy means… not reality! Nothing I ever write about will happen in real life. The men I portray are not real, and if you ever meet one that seems as if he might be similar, please give him my contact info!! Immediately!    

I’m still learning, always will be.  Please be gentle with me, but also, I need feedback! I need to know my audience! If I can please myself and you at the same time I will have hit the jackpot!

Send me messages, tell me what you like, what you don’t like, your turn-on’s and offs. Which characters speak to you and which don’t?  Who do you associate with and what would you like to see more of? You guys are my editors! Like I said, I’m still learning, always will be!



About Payne Hawthorne AdventuresinPayne

My strange life, my journey and life lessons. This blog feed is all non-fiction, real life, me, myself and I. This is where you will find the person I am aside from all my fictional books, stories and characters. This is Payne!
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2 Responses to Workin it! Trying! Learning!

  1. Gerry Hanna says:

    G’day, all I have read is this. I was sent the link by a certain Julie Addicott (why I need to add a cot, I have no idea.) This is the first I’ve found of of your writing and it intrigues me. I’m not a technophobe but I admit to being somewhat of a novice. I would be happy to pay for your work and if you have anything for free, I would be glad to review it. I don’t call myself a poet but I do write poetry. Go to, ‘Dripping With Ink’ on Facebook, scroll down (not far) to a picture of someone dressed in a rabbit suit with their back to the camera, go to comments and a poem I wrote at about 3am ish last night based on that picture is there (Gerry Hanna) If you like it please hit like (it’s a competition) if you don’t, then don’t. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. That’s by the by to the point of me contacting you. You have my e-mail address, please let me know how to better get hold of your work. This seems a bit difficult.

    Thanks Payne,



    Liked by 1 person

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